Benjamin in the Woods

"Maybe nothing is more important than that we keep track, you and I, of these stories of who we are and where we have come from and the people we have met along the way because it is precisely through these stories in all their particularity… that God makes himself known to each of us most powerfully and personally."
-Frederick Buechner

Silent Retreat at Subiaco Abbey

"As morning breaks we sing of your mercy, Lord,

and night will find us proclaiming your fidelity."

Collectively we gather to speak words of faith and truth.

We let our lips sing praise, lest the rocks cry out.

We practice the spiritual disciplines

of silence, prayer, journaling..

And I fail again. And again.

Mouth of mine breaks vow of silence all too easily....

out of habit, out of going along with the throng,

out of wanting to know and be known.

And yet He still surrounds me with His love,

the kind that is everlasting.

That God- love that never fails.

I withdraw again to a quiet place- alone,

for even glances of the eye try to speak,

wanting acceptance from earthly creatures.

My heart is laid bare before me, and I cry out His words,

because mine are no good...

"Create in me a clean heart, O God.

Renew a right spirit within me."

And He answers.

Renewed heart hums, ready to serve-

"I have been blessed by the Lord...

and now, I get to be the blessing."

For Ann's beautiful words about the silent retreat:

http://www.aholyexperience.com/2010/03/what-you-really-need-when-life-is-loud.html

Forever Love

"...but this is what lasts, this is what goes on forever and ever and will endure times and winds and all the ages. Heaven and love and Jesus.

And there is such a thing as too much money

and too much sun

and too much of a good thing,

but this world has only one thing that there can never be enough of:

there is no such thing as too much love.

And they may not etch it on memorial stone, but granite erodes and quiet people know it so we get up every day and we make the porridge and wash the underwear and pay the bills and tend to the hurting and we etch the love on the hearts, that which beats on without end and we pulse throughout the universe.

There's a way to do work that lasts forever.

Just do everything with love."

~Ann Voskamp

15 Months Old

Rain falls steadily outside the window,
puddles dot the yard and fill ruts in the drive.

She bundles close on my lap,
head finding rest in the crook of my arm.
Her fingers scratch my back and arm as she nurses,
and I look and look into her eyes.

She loves me.
She really loves me.

So much so that I gaze away in disbelief and wonder.

My eyes trace her pupils, notice the shades of blue,

the lines of light that seem living, changing.

Where, oh where did such a creature come from?

She is all gift.

And I hope her joy is always so full.

And oh, I see my reflection in the tiny black circles gazing my way...

and I whisper low,

"I love you too."

I am whispering to her,

but seeing my reflection I am caught off guard,

knowing that I don't say those kind words to myself.

But I like what I see for once...

and feel like I am good at something...

that maybe I am a good...

Milky smile completes thought and says, "Mom." And then continues nursing again.
She reaches and points to my nose, eyes, mouth, hair. Always.

And always in that order. It is her way.

And I lean, and kiss her forehead,wipe hair away from face.
Massage little feet.

And give thanks.

Always give thanks.

Creative Space

When Sweet Pea takes her morning nap, the boys and I gather books together and arrange ourselves just-so. Their growing elbows always accidently poke my lap as they lean close to listen, one on each side of me.


Last week we read The Story of the Alamo, and Andy and I woke before dawn to hear a complete reinactment already taking place in the playroom!


And after we read The Story of Old Ironsides, these two boys went searching for materials to build their own great ship.

Two boys + empty laundry-soap box + limbs we pruned off peach trees +scrap of fabric + a few toy cannons = a good deal of fun!